Nocturnal

Why have I become a nocturnal idler?

I love to sleep those long, deep sleeps..

But recently, they have become nothing but long, deep tribulations..

..and my only exercised alternatives are staring at the ceiling, or staring at a book, or watching something pretending to be attentive..

Even procrastination seems monotonous, my one true hobby until recently..

Nocturnal idler..

Befitting, isn't it?

It was, until now..

Now I am a nocturnal happy camper.

Why?

Because I've learned to live in reality and accept it.

I've learned that people with a set of rules cannot mix with those having no rules.

..and the credit for this lesson goes to a very close friend and also many friend-turned-foe's.

So finally, after a lot of ditching and being ditched, and getting over all the bonds gone awry, now I can rest and be what I said, a happy camper.

..my exercised alternatives now are opening up to a friend-established-friend every now and then, watching something and actually being attentive, et cetera.

In short, I am absorbing all the good around me.

Happy camper..

Sure?

..because I am still hung up enough to mention all the bonds gone awry.

Will I be able to pull this happy camper phase long enough to make it a permanent aspect of my life?

I haven't been able to decipher my state of mind yet.

I think I am happy and I'm really happy that I think this way. I mean, positivity is good!

Whenever I write, I try to veil my despondency, but after a few lines, I fail.

I guess, I am a happy camper veiling a sad idler.

Yet, I'm not sure about all this rumination.

I wish life was much easier to understand and night much darker to elude myself.